Day 4: Talk About Your Biggest Regret So Far
This is going to be a little difficult because I try not to regret things, instead I try to treat them like valuable experiences from which I can learn something.
I guess if I had to choose right now, and I’m sure after I post this I’ll think of several other things I could have chosen instead, I would say that I regret my behavior in my past relationship (which was years ago). I have always had a very strong sense of self, and I kind of let myself not be treated very nicely at the end. I let him get away with a lot of things and I was too agreeable because I cared about him so much and I didn’t want to lose him. I think I regret being like that. I struggle with self-esteem, so I pretty much convinced myself that I didn’t deserve any better, & I still feel like that today, but I regret losing my backbone.
To go hand-in-hand with the self-esteem thing, I regret spending so much time hating myself and putting myself down, but I haven’t qui figured out how to not do that yet.
3: Talk about the person for whom you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings.
Lol, this is super uncomfortable for me because I don’t like talking about feelings….I don’t think I’ve ever even used the term “romantic feelings.”
He started off being really interesting and very intelligent, and then we were best friends and did everything together and told each other everything, and he was really tall and had really cool hair (it was super blond and fluffy) and the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen. He listened very well and would remember little things, which for me was a big deal because to most people I’m kind of the throw-away friend about whom they don’t really care. He thought very highly of me, & I have extremely basement low self-esteem, so that was nice, but he kind of flipped. It was coming all along & I was really blind to it. He constantly disappointed me & cancelled plans, and the straw that broke the camel’s back was leaving me at his senior prom so he could go to a party with his friends. We didn’t really talk for a long time but various circumstances have lead to our speaking to each other & he seems to have gone back to being the type of person that I really knew and about whom I really cared, so that’s good for him because he’s just a much better person that way. If I’m being truthful, it still kind of bothers me that I don’t know why he treated me so horribly in the end & why he felt that I didn’t warrant basic respect. It has had a really big effect on my self-esteem issues, so even though it was quite a long time ago, I would still like to know.
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